The way of the gentleman

There is a weird, maybe even creepy phenomenon in my life. I tend to look for older men. The more accurate statement would be that I am attracted to older men, period.  When I say older it varies. It has only been the difference of 3-5 years but it has also been 7+years older and twice now 20+years older. Eww, did you say? Yep, I get it.  When I think back to those times I have often wondered what drove me to that.

Upon first inspection it seems an obvious case of daddy issues. However, I have come to a very peaceful place with my father. One that allows me no real anger or regret for my upbringing. This is what happened to me; this is how the God in me saw fit to experience my childhood ;this is a part of my past and thereby an element of how I came to be the me that I am, currently. So mark Daddy issues off the list!

It hit me just the other day that the reason I prefer older men is because they tend to be of my way of thinking. Sure age, is just a number (blah, blah) but the older the more it does increase the odds of an older-fashioned mind as I am. To be more blunt...there is more of a chance of finding a true gentleman, rather than the modernized way of thinking of men today.

I don't know if there is anymore I can say about that. I guess I'm just a woman stuck in a time period in which I don't belong. 

To be depressed or not to be...

Yes, I am depressed and if you aren't then maybe you aren't living. That said, I would never allow a professional to diagnosis me so. In a world so full of crime, abuse, and too many other injustices to name, how could one not be effected, I ask. The only exception to this rule would be if you just don't pay attention to your world.

Depression has become a common label placed on well over half of the world, especially the United States. Dictionary.com defines Depression as, "a condition of general emotional dejection and withdrawal; sadness greater and more prolonged than that warranted by any objective reason." 


Here are some common statistics associated with Depression as noted by url: Depressionhelpspot.com:

• Depression often exists with other diseases, including chronic pain, arthritis, diabetes and HIV patients.
• Depression is also known to weaken the immune system, making the body more susceptible to other medical illnesses.
• People with depression are four times as likely to develop a heart attack than those without a history of the illness. After a heart attack, they are at a significantly increased risk of death or second heart attack.
• 25% of cancer patients experience depression.
• 10-27% of post-stroke patients experience depression.
• 1 in 3 heart attack survivors experience depression.
• Almost half of all patients with Parkinson's suffer from depression, ranging from mild to moderate.
• Approximately one of every two patients with an eating disorder suffers from major or clinical depression.
• 27% of individuals with substance abuse disorders (both alcohol and other substances) experience depression.

The one thing all the above have in common is they are crappy situations! Come on, who has cancer and thinks happy thoughts? I'll tell you not freaking many. The small percentage of human beings that could hear that news without feeling sadness, dejection or withdrawal don't exist! Sure you can get past it, not allow the depression to take over your life but initially and periodically a normal person will feel depressed in bouts. That is called situational depression and should not be confused with real mental illness. 

Personally I believe that clinical depression is a choice and therefore not categorized as an illness. In my opinion, depression is a state you allow yourself to sink into, rather than fight the darkness that invades our lives. It is an emotional state that can be controlled and overcome. That said, I  understand it isn't an easy process. It takes an amount of strength tantamount to a God, at times. It takes a confidence in  yourself and/or the osmotic effect of a support system firmly in your life. The overall thought I want to clearly state is that it can be done...and without drugs. 

I fully believe the real secret is understanding that depression happens. Embrace those moments, but make sure not to live in them. When the bad stuff happens, that is the sign of need for change. Inevitably, goodness comes soon after. No change is brought about without a stimulus and sadly it is normally a traumatic event that  best energizes that movement. 

In conclusion, my revelation for the weekend was, yeah, I'm depressed and frig, why aren't you?