So I'm an overthinker....
Instinctively, I like to be loving, giving, open. In order to do that, I attempt to figure out what that person's love language is, how they express and learn things so I'm an effective communicator. These things all form to create the over thinker, I am. Yes, the thinking process of it all is where the doubts and questions begin to form, that cause utter chaos in my mind and heart. I am so focused on trying to do the right thing and be the best person I can that I'm constantly reevaluating, adjusting my thoughts and limits. I have this fear that if I stopped overthinking, I believe I would be less loving/giving/communicative. It makes me feel pretty scattered, but at the exact same time, I'm proud that I'm open.
Of course the optimal way to live is to give your love freely, with no sense of expectation or reciprocation. I want to be that so very bad, but I can't seem to do it. It happens at first when I meet someone. My instinctual nature is to give of myself, maybe too much. I say too much because, sadly, it doesn't take long before the other person begins to expect this...so they don't have to work for it anymore. They begin talking less, doing those sweet little things less, writing less, saying all those things a woman needs to hear LESS ; that list can go on and on and on. I think it is in our nature to take advantage of what is given, especially if given too freely. I see that as a fact, but if I were a better person, this wouldn't matter to me. I'd do it anyway, as Mother Teresa says.
I'm at a crux, that has been the case for years now....do I turn a blind eye to the realities of the world....the things you can bet on, like being used or abused, etc and continue to do good for the world, despite it all or....keep yourself safe by reacting to the things that go on around you? Even worse, do I keep my guard preventing me from being who I want to be because someone might hurt me?
I wish I could decide. Any ideas? I wonder how other people are authentic to their true selves, because me, I struggle. Perhaps putting it here, out into the cosmos will bring me back the energy to do my best.
-this version is credited to Mother Teresa
originally bye Kent M. Keith
People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.
Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.
Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten.
Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.
Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway.
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