I do write. I write everyday, all the time. I see the words in my head when a person speaks. I hear myself sound out each letter to try and make sense of what emotions are currently churning. With almost every interaction I have, each day....I write!
I wrote when I was struggling with childhood abuse and poverty. Those words, etched inside (and sometimes spilled out on paper) told me, "this isn't your fault". They gave me the only solace I had.
I wrote when I fell in love with a demon that made my life a hell that I wasn't sure I would survive. The words reminded me that "I'm not the demon". The words yelled inside to find the strength to be brave and seek me, alone. The words told me it was okay to be divorced.
I wrote when my baby boy went through pain that I couldn't heal. They urged me to realize this was his novel to write, not mine.
I wrote when I changed my entire life to try and make a fairytale come true. I wrote everyday ignoring the writing on the walls, convincing myself that I could make "our" life what I wanted it. Then the words yelled again, "Its time to move on. We tried".
I write now, all the time, in the car....in my bed while I wait for sleep. I write when I'm at work and can't find the grace to forgive someone, at that moment in time. I write when my temper flairs and I allow my demon full reign. I write when I'm sad and scared that this lonely life may eat me up and swallow my dreams.
No matter what ...I DO write!
I wrote when I was struggling with childhood abuse and poverty. Those words, etched inside (and sometimes spilled out on paper) told me, "this isn't your fault". They gave me the only solace I had.
I wrote when I fell in love with a demon that made my life a hell that I wasn't sure I would survive. The words reminded me that "I'm not the demon". The words yelled inside to find the strength to be brave and seek me, alone. The words told me it was okay to be divorced.
I wrote when my baby boy went through pain that I couldn't heal. They urged me to realize this was his novel to write, not mine.
I wrote when I changed my entire life to try and make a fairytale come true. I wrote everyday ignoring the writing on the walls, convincing myself that I could make "our" life what I wanted it. Then the words yelled again, "Its time to move on. We tried".
I write now, all the time, in the car....in my bed while I wait for sleep. I write when I'm at work and can't find the grace to forgive someone, at that moment in time. I write when my temper flairs and I allow my demon full reign. I write when I'm sad and scared that this lonely life may eat me up and swallow my dreams.
No matter what ...I DO write!
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